


You didn't make it easy

by jalpari



Series: • Yizhan Diaries • [10]
Category: Actor RPF, Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: BJYX | Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean is Real, Boys' Love, Happy Ending, Implied 227, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Yizhan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26861668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jalpari/pseuds/jalpari
Summary: My mind keeps imagining all the different possible ways in which Yizhan could have confessed to each other! Here's scenario #3!Xiao Zhan is more than okay with the growing distance between him and Yibo. Until the scandal hits and suddenly the distance is thrown out the window.Scenario #1 -Since when?Scenario #2 -GouzaizaiAll my other Yizhan stories -Yizhan diariesYizhan AUsMy Twitter -@jalpari_yizhan,@yizhanmood
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Series: • Yizhan Diaries • [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611649
Comments: 24
Kudos: 224





	You didn't make it easy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mizrosecat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizrosecat/gifts).



> Dedicating this to my bs! Thank you, V, for helping me when things get rough.

* * *

The first time Xiao Zhan realized it was when he came on TTXS to promote the Untamed. It hadn't felt bad though. It was, in fact, nice to see Yibo being doted on and fawned over by his older TTXS brothers who had, by association, even taken Xiao Zhan under their wing for the day. 

Yibo was still ever attentive, ever obsessed, ever the same puppy around Xiao Zhan as he had been all of the previous summer when they shot the drama. He would never admit it to Yibo, but he had missed his constant presence once the shoot was done and they went their separate ways.

He had felt more than just a friendly pleasure when Xuan Lu and Yibo had surprised him on his birthday. After wrapping up the Untamed, they had kept in touch but as Xiao Zhan had expected, the frequency, length and enthusiasm of those messages had dwindled. It was for the best, Xiao Zhan had convinced himself. He needed to move on. Yibo had become a habit. He needed to stop before he became an obsession.

So he was happy, in a manner of speaking, that after his birthday their messages had dwindled even further as they both got busy in their respective soaring careers. But more than once, Xiao Zhan had found himself staring at the night sky, a little lost. His mind relived all the summer moments that were mostly filled with memories of Yibo. He took some consolation in the fact that Yibo seemed to behave that way only with him. And even if they weren’t close now, it didn't mean it was only fan service.

The memories carried him all the way to the months of promotion where his Yibo drought was lifted and he got more Yibo than he had ever bargained for. Even though it wasn’t the same as the summer that had gone by, it was a lot. What with them constantly together for interviews, magazine shoots, appearances and events. What with their behind the scenes footage splashed all over the internet for everyone to see, analyze, scrutinize. 

If he were to tell the truth, it had made him happy. Even slightly satisfied. As if by letting the world see the behind the scenes, he had laid some sort of informal claim on Yibo. Look, Xiao Zhan’s mind would say each time he saw a post about them, they know how special I am to Yibo.

He rode the wave of happiness that the weeks of promotions but once they had ended, the separation resumed. Xiao Zhan thought many times of contacting Yibo to make plans to meet but something held him back each time. Each time Yibo brought up their plans of going on a skiing trip with his ‘bros’ from One more try, something ticked in Xiao Zhan and he would cite some excuse or the other.

I thought it was going to be just us, Xiao Zhan would brood later. The incident had prompted him to watch the episodes and behind the scenes of One more try. Which led him down a rabbit hole. And sure enough there was a pattern. Tao-ge on Produce 101, some of the older more experienced men on One more try, Yin Zheng and his other biker friends that also were into racing.

They could post photos with him on Weibo, write funny captions, comment with words of affection and terms of endearment, hug each other properly even on camera, and meet each other outside work and post about it.

Xiao Zhan felt a pang as his mind raced through all these thoughts one night, just before their final Untamed concert in Nanjing. Thailand had been a whirlwind with no time for socializing. Nanjing would be no different. No, Xiao Zhan corrected himself, Nanjing would be different. It was the last reason, the last excuse, for him to meet Yibo and indulge himself in the name of fan service.

Xiao Zhan had sat and listened to Yibo blabber about his next projects and the senior actors he would work with and the old friends he would reunite with through them. The jealousy had lasted Xiao Zhan till new year. One message was exchanged. A perfunctory wish with a let’s meet soon that had floated and dissipated into the air over the next few days. 

The awards season had sparked some hope in Xiao Zhan. Tencent had been fun. Xiao Zhan had Yibo’s undivided attention despite the incessant cameras that were on them. But at Weibo awards, things had been different. Yibo seemed distant and preoccupied. But that hadn't stopped Zhang Yixing and Jackson Wang. Why had it stopped Xiao Zhan.

A lot of things stopped Xiao Zhan. Girlfriend rumors that always followed Yibo. Close friend circles that existed way before him. Vastly different hobbies that placed him in exclusive circles. Perfect excuses for Xiao Zhan to justify the distance and the lack of effort.

The self isolation had its benefits. It gave him a reason to move on. It made it harder though when it all went down. When the PR disaster attacked him and his career. He picked up the phone several times to message him but held back each time as his morose mind decided against dragging him into the mess. 

What was really difficult was going through it all alone, although he would never say that out loud lest it seem ungrateful to all his friends and family who were nothing but supportive and were there for him as much as let them be.

He had cried the night the hate had reached its peak and his contracts had bore the brunt. His career and reputation seemed to be headed for a dead end but his heart was the one in shambles.

Selfishly, it had felt anger when Yibo announced his racing season with the other geges. Selfishly, it had felt resentment when Yibo had seemingly continued his usual affairs and endorsement posts and commitments with no message to him. Selfishly, he had sobbed into the night when he realized that he was just another gege. 

He woke up one morning to find a message from Yibo.

_Video call?_

_Can't. Some other time maybe._

That night, as he ate dinner alone, his phone rang loud into the silent night. He ignored Yibo’s call unsure of what he would even say. A knock made him get up and he remembered his agent had wanted to discuss their next steps and check on him out of concern.

He opened the door with a sigh ready to plaster on the trademark smile that everyone now expected of him. 

”Zhan-ge.”

Xiao Zhan felt a wave of emotion overwhelm him as his brain tried processing the unexpected arrival. The soothing deep voice that massaged his name in way no one else ever could.

”Ge.”

”I’m not the only ge,”Xiao Zhan chuckled.

”You’re the only one.”

”Why are you here, Yibo?”

”Gege,” Yibo walked forward, forcing Xiao Zhan further inside. “Didi ai ni.”

Xiao Zhan took a step back in, his mind reeling.

”Gege. Didi ai ni,” Yibo closed the door behind him.

”It’s not funny the second time around,” Xiao Zhan backed away with a frown.

”Gege. Didi ai ni,” Yibo reached for Xiao Zhan.

Xiao Zhan pulled his hand back and shook his head.

”Xiao Zhan.” Yibo held him in place. “Wo ai ni.”

Xiao Zhan paused. He blinked. He let Yibo pull him closer. He leaned into the hand that warmed his cheek.

”Wo ai ni,” Yibo whispered and brought his forehead to rest against Xiao Zhan’s. “Wo ai ni,” He breathed against his face. “Wo ai ni.”

”Stop it,” Xiao Zhan trembled. “You don't know what you’re saying.”

”Wo ai ni,” Yibo looked at Xiao Zhan with all the love in the world. 

”Wo ye ai ni,” Xiao Zhan let the tears slip out as Yibo leaned in and sealed their lips together.

”I’m here, ge. I’m here.”

”Took you long enough.”

”You didn't make it easy.”

”I didn't make it easy.”


End file.
